I DIDN'T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH

“Just when I thought all hope was lost and everyone had turned their backs on me, I found it in myself to move forward.”

At work, in the checkout line at the store, or networking I meet people every day that inspire me. For some reason as quiet as I am people will come up to me in conversation and start spilling their life stories, I don’t mind it though because it confirms my purpose and it shows me that everyone has a story even a young child.

I have listened to testimonies of cancer survivors or battling, people who have lost loved ones, those who are taking care of family members who are ill, being involved in abusive relationships, being tossed around in the foster care system, sexual abuse victims, those who have been incarcerated, and those who have lost their income/home and family, this list can go and on. One thing I notice as a commonality in their stories is they didn’t know their own strength, although they acknowledged God in their survival, but they also possessed inner strength that allowed them to move forward. What is it that we pray when we are going through hard times or to prevent from strangling the life out of the kids…“Lord give me the strength” Yes, strength to endure life’s challenges and to cope with what is soon to come, without strength you are weak left with no defenses which means when attacked you can’t stand.

I had the privilege to listen to a 14 year old girl share her story of her life challenges. She lived with her mother who was on drugs and this young lady of course was constantly criticized. This young girl needed family and turned to the wrong kind, she joined a gang, at the age of 10 this baby girl was a gang banger. Even at such a young age this girl knew that there was more to life than sex, drugs, and violence at the age of 12 she was jumped out of the gang, doctors didn’t know if she would make it because she was so badly beaten. When she recovered she relocated with her grandmother, life was still troubled, but she was determined to be a better person and help her peers who were going through her similar trials she stated that she had to find the strength from within to change to be the person she knows she can be.

I met a woman with three children who had been abused by her husband for several years. Her family and friends tried to help her and convince her to leave, but it was excuse after excuse, she had left him at one point, but he found her and promised it would be better he apologized, and brought her flowers, she believed him and when back home. It wasn’t until in one of his rages one her children was badly injured and this was actually the final straw. Though she hated that one of her children had to get hurt to leave she realized that she could continue to put her children or herself in such danger. She never thought that she would have it in her to finally leave but she found the strength.

You may have may have found the strength to go back to school after dropping out or after having a child and people said you would never amount to anything. You may have started your own business or may be thinking about starting your own business. You may be starting over after a nasty divorce, or you may be working to rebuild a once broken marriage, you may be fighting opposition left and right, but the bottom line is you found your strength. We all have different stories, but one thing we all have said is “I didn’t know my own strength”.

If you’re reading this and think your situation is too far gone, think again. When can’t depend or call on anyone know there are two people that will always have your back and that God and should be yourself. Don’t give up on God or yourself remember this scripture in fact write it down and say it to yourself just when you think it’s over:

“When I fall, I will arise, when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me”

Miach 7:8 (NIV)

 

“Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.”

                                                  ~Marcus Antoninus

                                                                   Blessings!

                                                                  ~Lady B

  

                                 

                                                                    

Seasonal People & Life Time Expectations

After the thousandth time of watching Madea Goes To Jail (The Play) her words hit me harder than ever. In all of Tyler’s plays especially those with Madea he always gives her the opportunity to share some wisdom with the audience. In this particular play Madea stated that sometimes people are with those who they are only supposed to be with for a season, but have kept them around due to life time expectations. Hmmm…That’s deep.

This really got me to thinking, not only about romantic relationships, but relationships with friends, peers, business related, and family. Do you have seasonal people in our lives that we have made life time expectations for? If you are thinking as hard as I was when I heard Madea then you are probably thinking to yourself who are these seasonal people that I have kept around too long? Here are a few questions/concerns you can ask yourself that might shed some light:

1. Do you question the relationship in general?
2. Do you always have to raise a question on how they feel about you?
3. Do they support what you do/your efforts or do they judge you and put you down.
4. Is the relationship based on what you do for them or what you do for each other?
5. You find yourself always in an argument, though there is an apology it is reutine.
6. You have grown, but your counter part has not and they don’t seem to understand your new direction.

These are just a few questions or situations that have been on your mind for quite some time, but you may have brushed them off by saying “this is just how they operate”.

What Do We Do With Our Seasonal People?

It is very stress and upsetting  when it’s time to move on (Sometimes), but keeping seasonal people in our lives will cause us to miss the very thing God has in store for us. It can also cause doubt towards our capabilities because you may not be receiving the support you expected. I am literally speaking to myself as I write this blog. Knowing the difference I think is not the hard part, the hard part is letting go and moving on. I’m not suggesting you eliminate those persons out of your life completely although in some cases you may, but the relationship has to change. They may no long be able to handle your business affairs, you may no longer need to include this person in your personal affairs whatever the case may be situations change as people change and vice versa. 

We as women have to have standards for ourselves, and relationships, this is not the time to be petty, but to give boundaries and what is healthy for us and what we will allow into our personal space. Sine I turned the ripe ole age of 30 J I realized that I have no tolerance for games “if you have something to say, be a woman and say it!” I also don’t do negativity. I told myself to suck it up and stop the complaining I must surround myself around positive people, when people want to talk trash about others I try to change the subject.  I even instill this attitude to my clients they know they if they walk into my office feeling down and out they will leave with a new outlook on whatever the situation may be. People who are negative or seasonal will never bear fruit in my life or their own. We all need positive people in our lives encouragers, though you are entitled to a down day don’t let it get to you.

It’s time to make it happen for ourselves and those who don’t make the cut have to go. This is your season for prosperity and bearing the fruits of your labor if you have a seasonal person in your life it’s time to change, we can’t wear summer clothes in the winter. So, out with the old in with the new, network and see won’t God give you just what you need.

                                   Blessings!

                                     Lady B

Releasing Your Dreams

I was supposed to post this blog last Sunday, but I got distracted with something else and as you know during the work week it was just hectic and I said to myself “Amelia you are going to post this, this weekend” and here I am.

Yesterday Saturday October 8, 2011 was my very first opportunity to speak about my book Taking Responsibility & Loving Yourself: Your Journey To Womanhood. It was held by my aunt’s organization Woman 2 Woman, Inc.  I was asked to discuss what inspired me to write my book and why. After I spoke the message was brought forth and God confirmed the message I had for you my bloggers. God also confirmed it through the women that attended the event, several women came up to me and said that I inspired them… me, I inspired grown women, women that could tell me a thing or two about life, and this was truly a humbling experience.

I say that to say this to my Women of High Standard, release your dreams, stop sitting on what God gave you, I am 30 and I am not in the place where I thought I would be when I was 18, but I know that I am in the season God wants me to be in. It was the biggest sacrifice getting my book published, but I did it because God gave it to me and I didn’t want Him to take it away and give it someone else. What dream are you sitting on? What is it that God has told you to do, that you are not doing today?

I hear women say things like “I have been thinking about starting my own business or I want to go back to school etc.” Do IT! What are you waiting on? The speaker said “God gives us a season and this is our window of opportunity, you can take it or leave it”. Where is your faith? I know we sit and look at our current circumstances, but God is not asking you to be stupid and spend ALL your money, and jump off a bridge, He is simply saying “Trust in me daughter, take my hand and I will lead the way”.

God is tired of His people being so lazy all we do is complain and look at other people flourish…Why? The scripture given yesterday was Ephesians 3:20 “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us”…God can and will do, but according to that power that is in Y-O-U…so are you powered up ladies?

Study your gift, educate yourself on what you want to become, take as many classes you need to get yourself there. II Timothy says “Study to shew thyself approved unto God…” If you are unsure of your purpose ask God to show you, ask Him for confirmation trust me He will give it to you, if you just open up your heart to Him.

I pray that this has encouraged you to Release Your Dreams.

                                           ~BLESSINGS,

                                                    Lady B          http://youtu.be/BvKiwr9yIkA

STAND!

Sometimes we feel as though we are alone in life. People have turned against you, the job isn't working out, what you thought was the perfect marriage/relationship has you broken, discouraged, and in doubt.

Where do you turn when life gives you so many lemons how do you cope with the mistreatment? How do you make people understand what you are feeling inside?

 "I can't do this anymore, I'm tired. The doctors have given up on me, treatment is wearing me down. Life is stressing me out I'm down to my last dime. They took away my home, my dreams are shattered, I have nowhere to go. Family tried to tell me but I didn't listen now they throw it in my face, I just can't do this anymore, I'm tired, Can anybody hear me, will somebody listen?"

How do we move on in this world of uncertainty? Where do we turn when our options have run out, when friends have left you high and dry when family has given you the boot or left you with a dagger in your back?

Sometimes we get to the edge and just when jumping is the only option we hear a voice that says: “Stand up daughter you are more than a conqueror, don’t you know who I am? Don’t you know I won’t leave you? Don’t you know if you cast all your cares upon me I will take care of them? Trust in me my child and I will give you strength, give me your hand and I will guide you, trust me and I will direct your path, there is no problem that I can’t fix, I am Alpha & Omega the beginning and the end, my love you covers all your pains ”

Just when we think all else has failed, just when we think there is nothing left to do God steps in and gives us the strength, power, and courage to Stand!

                                                                                     Blessings!

Recognizing Your Own Spiritual Drain

As we know the struggle of everyday life brings about an emotional, mental and often times physical changes in ourselves. What I don’t think we recognize is how it changes our spiritual lives as well. Whatever we experience in life effects our whole selves when you are upset emotionally you have no sympathy for others, physically your blood pressure raises, mentally your thought patterns change, and spiritually…well, let’s be for real do we really stop and say what would Jesus do/ Do we really stop and pray? Even if you did are you praying for the right things? Not “Lord this woman/man is getting on my nerves I hope somebody tell them what I wish I could cause you know Lord I’m saved now” Lol! Umm, no it does not work that way.

I have gone through times in my life where I have felt hopeless, prayer didn’t seem to work, I couldn’t solve my own problems, and everything just seems to pile up day after day, I’m sure someone can attest to this where you just feel lost. This brings me to my topic Recognizing when you have a spiritual drain. During these time of spiritual deflation sort of speak we have to realize when we have to pump the breaks on assisting others with their problems. “Yes I know this is the time when it seems like everyone wants to blow up the cell phone with issues they can’t handle”, but really how can you help someone else find clarity if your life is surrounded by fog? That is like an anger management specialist teaching you all of these skills and techniques to help you control yourself, but your find out they have domestic violence issues at home.

One day my cousin called me with a situation she needs help and answers and though I wanted to help as I always do I had to tell her that I was in a bad place and I couldn’t help her because I couldn’t help myself. She didn’t get mad and hang up she asked if I was okay. Ladies it is not a sign of weakness nor is it stating you don’t have a relationship with God it’s knowing that at the moment some part of you needs to draw closer to Him. Do remember back in school when you learned about farming and migrating etc. (if you don’t remember let’s take a refresher course).

At the moment of your spiritual drain think of yourself as being Fallow ground this is where the ground is unseeded/inactive, farmers cannot grow crops on fallow ground because it is not ready it must be properly plowed and fertilized for growth to occur. Hmm sounds a bit familiar, when you find yourself at a point where you need replenishing you may to lie fallow for a bit, ask God for the strength to get through this moment in your life, ask Him for guidance stop thinking that you are the one who gives advice no receive because the people that you help could be the very persons that God has placed in your life to help you as well.

We are not perfect and God knows this, there is growth in humility. These are just my thoughts.

Fear-of-God is a school in skilled living-first you learn humility, then you experience glory. Proverbs 15:33 (The Message)

                                                                        Blessings!
                                                                        ~Lady B

Don't Give Up

I had a thought today: Sometimes our lives can get so complicated and it seems there is no end to the madness and we feel like giving up on it all just throw in the towel. Sometimes we have thoughts of defeat "who cares, it's not important", I am definitely guilty of this crime, it is apart of our human nature.

I had another thought: When we feel defeated and beat up on ourselves does God feel it? I mean does he get disappointed that we choose to hurt ourselves?

If You give up on yourself, you give up on God He created you!

These are just my thought!

                                                                        Blessings!
                                                                        ~Lady B

GAS Station Holla

It’s  been a while sense my last post but I’m happy to say I’m back.

I have a story to tell that I’m sure happens often hopefully not just to me but to many of you as well. Picture it:

I’m at the gas station minding my own business pumping my gas and a guy pulls up and say “will you pay for my gas” I laugh as he is walking away to go pay. He came back, I’m just about finished and he says “you have a beautiful smile” I’m thinking to myself “Oh God not again” I say thank you and begin walking around my car to leave and he says “Well I guess your boyfriend tells you that everyday” and in my honest stupidity I say, I don’t have a boyfriend ‘my bad’ so this opened the door for this question: “So how can a guy like myself get to know you better” I tell him our like that I’m doin me right now, focused on my career not really interested in a relationship. He pulls out his card and says “well if you change your mind give me a call.’

THE END

Okay so you may be saying “Lady B why didn’t you give dude a chance?” I know he didn’t come at me with “hey there Shorty” or the popular “Psst… Hey lil mama” but please let me now describe, let’s call him Mister. He had to be in his mid to late 40’s a little chubby (don’t get me wrong I’m not pickin on Mister’s weight, it’s all in how a person carries themselves). He was wearing faded army fatigue pants with a white shirt that had faded blue sleeves, some dirty faded sneakers, a faded blue baseball type cap and to top it off he had one gold tooth in the front of his mouth.

Okay so here is my problem yes I know many times us women pre judge and we don’t know he could be a good man but umm… Not trying to sound arrogant, but are not first impressions everything? Don’t we put our best foot forward when we see someone we may be interested in? I mean yeah we at the gas station and no, you didn’t expect to meet anyone, but would you at least say “I’m sorry for the way I look I normally don’t look this way I just got off work or my profession keeps me messy.” I don’t know maybe it’s just me, maybe my standards are too high LOL! No but really, ladies I think we owe it to the single men in our live (i.e., little brothers, friends, uncles etc.) to prompt them on approaching a woman in different situations let them know what we don’t like and fine offensive. We as well could learn a thing or two from them as well.

I don’t know it’s something about that gas station no matter where I go I’m always getting hit on my older men, sometimes I want to say how do you know I’m not underage, or don’t you have a kid or granddaughter my age, but now a days “age ain’t nothing but a number” I guess????

Well I hope you enjoyed my gas station “love” story. Let’s help the single men in our lives and in turn educate ourselves. Though we have standards, do we sometimes allow them to sabotage a good thing? Hmm… But on the other hand don’t settle because you feel this is your last chance. This is where we must discern and ask God for direction, wait your season will come.

These are just my Thoughts
                                                                  
                                                                                 Blessings!
                                                                                  ~ Lady B